AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH – PART 1

by Rabbi Yissocher Frand on behalf of the Sefas Tamim Foundation

I would like to thank the Sefas Tamim Foundation for the opportunity to present, over the course of a series of articles, a speech I gave about how powerful truth is. Truth gives us meaning and direction throughout life. It nourishes our souls and gives us good children. And it stands us in good stead long after we are gone from this world. I gave this speech over twenty years ago. It is just as relevant today as it was back then[1].

The Gemara tells us (Nedarim 8b), “There will be no gehinnom in the next world. Rather, the Holy One, Blessed Is He, will unveil the sun. The righteous will be healed by it, and the sinful will be punished by it.”

Rabbi Zev Leff of Yerushalayim explains that the sun in this allegory is a metaphor for the light of the truth. In the future, Hashem will shed the light of truth upon the world. There will be no more subterfuges, no more excuses, no more dissimulation, only the unadorned truth. There will be no place to hide, and we will have to face the truth. The righteous will be vindicated by the truth, but the sinful will be condemned by it.

At that time, we will all look back over the long span of our lifetimes, and we will understand what our lives really meant. And if we discover, Heaven forbid, that for all those years we were living a lie, it will be incredibly painful, more painful than any external rebuke could possibly be.

There was once an executive who worked in middle-level management for a small but prestigious company. He was very devoted to the company and did everything in his power to climb the corporate ladder. One day, without any forewarning whatsoever, the company went out of business. The decision to liquidate had been made behind closed doors in utmost secrecy and was immediately implemented. One day it was business as usual, and the next day all the employees were asked to clear out their desks and seek employment elsewhere.

A security guard was posted at the door to make sure the employees took nothing belonging to the company. When it was the executives turn to pass through security, he walked right past the guard and headed for the door. “Excuse me, sir,” the security guard called to him. “I have to inspect your box. I have to make sure it contains nothing belonging to the company.” The executive spun around in a rage. He ripped open his shirt and bared his chest. “You want to see what belongs to this company?” he cried out, pounding his chest. “This belongs to the company. My heart! I gave 30 years of my life to the company. I was here day and night, and holidays, too. I gave the company everything. And suddenly you just go out of business? For this I gave my life? For this I have to suffer the indignity of being treated like a thief? You're worried that I might take some pencils, but what about my heart? What about the best years of my life?”

What had pierced this man so deeply? Was it the loss of his job, his prestigious position, his retirement benefits? No. It was much more than that. All of a sudden, this poor man had been hit with the awful truth. All of a sudden, he realized that all the time he had stolen from his family - all the weekends he had spent in the office, all the nights he had spent with clients - were all for nothing. How could he have done this to himself and his family? How could he have frittered away the best years of his life for a mirage? How could he have allowed himself to live a lie? The awful truth stared him in the face, and it was more painful than he could bear.

How do we become conditioned to facing the truth? How do we avoid the nasty surprise of discovering we have been living a lie? Of discovering that we have wasted our lives away by deluding ourselves? It all begins with our attitude to speaking truth. If we are scrupulous in the words we speak, making sure that we speak only the truth, then we are better able to recognize truth when it stares us in the face. But if we rationalize about the little falsehoods, the line between truth and falsehood becomes blurred in our minds. Then we can no longer differentiate truth from falsehood very easily, and we are missing the truth that stares us in the face.

In times gone by, there were people who knew the meaning of honesty, of truthfulness. There were people who cared about the integrity of every word they uttered.

Do you know when the Chofetz Chaim got semicha? Late in life, he applied for a passport to travel from Poland to Eretz Yisrael. The passport application asked for the applicant’s profession, and the natural answer for the Chofetz Chaim was rabbi. There was only one problem. Although he had already written Mishna Berurah, and was acknowledged as the leading Halachic authority for all of Klal Yisrael, he had never received semicha.

If there was any person in the world who was entitled to call himself rabbi, it was the Chofetz Chaim. Yet he refused to do so. Officially, he was not a rabbi. So he sent a telegram to Rav Chaim Ozer Grodzinski in Vilna asking him for a semicha based on his works. Reb Chaim Ozer immediately telegraphed him a semicha, and the Chofetz Chiam was able to apply for a passport. Amazing! Until the Chofetz Chaim had that telegram in his hands, he absolutely refused to represent himself as a rabbi, because technically, it was not true.

B’ezras Hashem, in next week’s article, we will discuss the deep effects that falsehood has on our soul and the importance of truth in our daily affairs.

The Sefas Tamim Foundation’s mission is to underscore the centrality of truth, emes, in our daily affairs. For further information regarding the Sefas Tamim Foundation and its mission of emphasizing everyday emes, please contact Boruch Delman at 718-200-5462 or info@everydayemes.org.

[1] This speech was also included in my book “Listen to Your Messages” and what follows has been reproduced from the book and used with the permission of the copyright holders Artscroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH – PART 2

by Rabbi Yissocher Frand on behalf of the Sefas Tamim Foundation

I would like to thank the Sefas Tamim Foundation for the opportunity to present, over the course of a series of articles, a speech I gave about how powerful truth is. I gave this speech over twenty years ago and it is just as relevant today as it was back then[1]. In part 2 of this series, we will discuss the deep effects that falsehood has on our soul and the importance of truth in our daily affairs.

“Because speaking falsehood is an enormous transgression,” Rabbeinu Yona explains in Shaarei Teshuvah. “We are obligated to uphold the truth, because it is one of the fundamental elements of the soul.” What are the building blocks of the soul? Of what material is the soul constructed? The Rabbeinu Yona tells us the answer: Truth. The soul is made of truth. All souls are taken from beneath the Kisei Hakovod, the Divine Throne of Glory - from Hashem Himself, so to speak, and Hashem’s seal is truth. Therefore, lying, cheating and deceiving are all antithetical to the soul. They are destructive. In this light, we can understand Rabbeinu Yehudah Hachassid’s advice in Sefer Chasidim. He writes that a person should do his best to avoid telling a lie even when the halacha permits doing so, for example: in certain circumstances, mipnei hashalom, for the sake of maintaining peace. There may be no transgression in lying under such circumstances, but the lie is nevertheless destructive to the soul.

In our day and age, the standard of truthfulness has sunk to new lows. That is really not surprising. It is generally agreed that we live in the predawn of the Messianic age, and the Mishnah (Sotah 49b) tells us that one of the hallmarks of our age is the disappearance of truth. And indeed, if we look around contemporary society, we are struck by the total bankruptcy of truth.

Tragically, the disease of untruthfulness has infected the Jewish community as well. There was a time when the word of a Jewish person was sacrosanct. There was a time when people preferred to do business with observant Jews, because they were assumed to be trustworthy. Is that still the case? Unfortunately, it is not. Today, we hear Jews saying that they would rather do business with gentiles than with other Jews. What a Chillul Hashem this is!

The Sma writes that when Hashem finally brings the Jewish people back to Eretz Yisrael, the nations of the world will say, “Hashem is right to choose the Jews as His people, because they are a truthful people.” But if the Jews will lie and cheat, the nations of the world will say, “What is this that Hashem has done? Why has He chosen to associate himself with thieves and liars?” Apparently, in the view of the Sma, the geulah will be delayed until the nations of the world will gladly attest to the honesty and integrity of the Jewish people.

All of us know full well where we have to improve. We have to be honest with our employers. We have to deliver 60 minutes of honest work for every hour of pay. Our employers, for the most part, are not paying us to go to mincha on their time. Our employers are not interested in providing us with free long-distance telephone time. We have to be honest with our employees as well and give them everything to which they are entitled.

We have to be honest with the government. And if we perceive the government as being wasteful with our tax dollars, we are not exempt from being honest with the government. Which government was more corrupt than that of Czarist Russia? And yet, Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, when he was a Rav in Lithuania, always told people to make sure they gave the government every cent demanded by law.

We have to be honest with our schools and shuls. It is unconscionable to be less than absolutely truthful on a tuition-reduction form. It is beyond me how people can rationalize stealing from Torah institutions. It is beyond me how people make a large pledge during an appeal in shul, basking in all the admiring glances, and then neglect to pay up. What has become of us?

We have to be honest with ourselves. It is dishonest to pay lip service to the truth and then employ all sorts of clever subterfuges to avoid it. All the shtick and the gimmicks do not emanate from the realm of truth and they are destructive to the soul. All too many Jews protect one image in the neighborhood and the shtiebel but take on an entirely different persona when they go to work downtown. All too many Jews keep vulgar language, ribald humor and a dash of flirtatiousness in their briefcases to be unpacked when they reach the office.

Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch once commented that some Jews have become reverse Marranos. The Muranos were gentiles on the outside but Jews on the inside. Some of us have become Jews on the outside but gentiles on the inside. The image is there, but with no substance behind it. Where is truth?

It's about time we stood up and told people who we really are. It may be a little hard at first. It may take special effort, but it will be worth it - especially for our children. B’ezras Hashem, in next week’s article, we will discuss the profound impact that honesty has on raising good children.

The Sefas Tamim Foundation’s mission is to underscore the centrality of truth, emes, in our daily affairs. For further information regarding the Sefas Tamim Foundation and its mission of emphasizing everyday emes, please contact Boruch Delman at 718-200-5462 or info@everydayemes.org.

[1] This speech was also included in my book “Listen to Your Messages” and what follows has been reproduced from the book and used with the permission of the copyright holders Artscroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH – PART 3

by Rabbi Yissocher Frand on behalf of the Sefas Tamim Foundation

I would like to thank the Sefas Tamim Foundation for the opportunity to present, over the course of a series of articles, a speech I gave about how powerful truth is. I gave this speech over twenty years ago and it is just as relevant today as it was back then[1]. In this final article of the series, we will discuss the profound impact that honesty has on raising good children.

One thing most parents have in common is an obsession with bringing up good children. They read books, attend lectures, take courses, anything just to be a better parent. There is no magic formula to raising good children, but if anything comes close, it is honesty. Children who perceive their parents as honest, straightforward and sincere will be honest children, and honest children are good children. You cannot fool your children. If you are dishonest, they will know it and be dishonest themselves. But if you are honest, they too will be honest, and they will make you proud.

A man came to see a certain Rosh Yeshiva I know. “Let me ask you a question,” he said. “Maybe you can explain it to me. I come from an old and very prestigious family. I am a learned man. I keep glatt kosher and do everything right, lemehadrin min hamehadrin. But I don't have any nachas from my children. My neighbor, on the other hand, is a simple person from a simple family. He keeps what he knows, which is not very much. And yet, each of his children is a gem. You know my neighbor, and you know me. How do you explain it?”

“You, my friend,” said the Rosh Yeshiva, “are a refugee, a survivor. You came here with nothing and scraped and scratched until you were successful. If you had to bend the rules in order to get ahead, that was what you did. You could say one thing but mean another. That's what your children saw, that nothing really means anything. But your neighbor, that simple fellow, couldn't tell a lie if he tried. That's what his children saw. That's why they are what they are.”

Rav Pam points out that being overly strict and overbearing with our children can cause them to lie. If they know they face terrible consequences if they are caught in a misdeed, they will be inclined to deny everything. And who could blame them? For example, if you place undue emphasis on grades, they will be inclined to cheat on their exams. But having an honest child is far more important than having a child with good grades.

Rav Pam learned about honesty from his mother who lived into her 90s. All his life, he never heard his mother say the word sheker, falsehood. She considered it a vulgar word and would not allow it to cross her lips. Instead, she would say, “It is not the truth,” or, “He must be mistaken,” but never, “It is a lie.” That word was anathema to her. That is how to make an impression on a child. That is how to raise children like Rav Pam.

One summer, my wife and I visited South Africa at the invitation of Ohr Somayach of South Africa. About halfway through my stay, a woman called to ask me for an interview for a thesis she was writing about the teshuvah movement of South Africa. During the interview she told me the following story.

“My father had very little knowledge about anything Jewish. He was completely non-observant. In fact, it fell to my mother to prepare my brothers for their bar mitzvahs.

We lived in a small mining town, where my father had his store. He was an impeccably honest man. When the blacks, who were usually poor and illiterate, would come to sell their wares, my father always paid an honest price. His scales were scrupulously accurate. Other merchants in town would take advantage of the blacks by using inaccurate scales, but my father never cheated anyone.

My father died many years ago and was buried in South Africa. My mother lived for 20 more years. She left instructions that when she died, she was to be buried in Eretz Yisrael and that my father's body was also to be brought to Israel and buried next to her. She also asked that my son-in-law, who lives in Eretz Yisrael, should attend to the body. In accordance with her wishes, my father's casket was to be exhumed and sent to Eretz Yisrael for reburial. With my son-in-law looking on, the chevra kadisha in Eretz Yisrael donned masks over their mouths and noses before they opened the casket. My father had been dead for many years, and the stench of death would probably be overpowering.

And then they opened the casket. ‘Shalem! Tzaddik!’ the man from the chevra kadisha shouted. Shalem. Intact. The body was perfectly intact. My son-in-law peeked into the casket himself and he confirms it. The body looked exactly like the picture of my father that sits on this mantelpiece.”

The woman paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. “Rabbi, believe me,” she said. “My father was no tzaddik. He was no righteous man. Believe me, I know. He was a good man, but not righteous. So what does this mean? How could his body still be intact after 20 years?”

I was as baffled as she was. How would I know the answer to such a question? All of a sudden, like a bolt of lightning, it hit me. “Believe it or not,” I said, “I think I may have an answer for you. There is a passuk in the Torah (Devarim 25:15) which states, ‘Even shleimah vetzedek yihyeh lach. You shall keep scales that are whole and righteous.’ What did you tell me about your father? That he was honest, that he kept honest weights? Well, that was your father's reward. Since he kept scales that were shalem, he was shalem, intact. Since he kept scales that were tzedek, the chevra kadisha recognized him as a tzaddik. Hashem loves honest people.”

How powerful and wonderful is this thing called emes, truth. It gives us meaning and direction throughout life. It nourishes our souls. It gives us good children. And it stands us in good stead long after we are gone from this world.

For more information on the Sefas Tamim Foundation and its mission of emphasizing everyday emes, please contact Boruch Delman at 718-200-5462 or info@everydayemes.org.

[1] This speech was also included in my book “Listen to Your Messages” and what follows has been reproduced from the book and used with the permission of the copyright holders Artscroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.